Top Ten Signs Our Copier Is Having Trouble

10. Three employees have lost a finger - this month alone.

9. Panel frequently displays "EMM386.EXE ERROR.

8. Instead of paper, it mysteriously shoots out AOL start-up disks.

7. Having to sit on copier leaves very unprofessional butt imprint on copies.

6. Service company recently installed a 25 cent per copy meter.

5. Lawn mower style "start cord" broke last week.

4. Frequently used as a paper shredder.

3. Only works in "Rhorshock" mode (that ink blot test).

2. Service company recently sent a counselor to discuss "Dealing with the loss of a copier".

1. Sounds suspiciously like dot-matrix printer.