Top Ten Reasons We No Longer Service Packard Bell

10. Theory that they will start using that controversial French RU486 chip.

9. New diagnostic software now displays "This is a test, it is only a test. If it were an actual computer, it would have recognized at least 1 of the PNP devices".

8. Metal cases are now made of compressed cardboard and collapse when 15" monitors are placed on top of them.

7. Service department can no longer comply with "Do not expose to light" sticker on case.

6. New hard drives require user to manually start hard drive with the PB "cyber crank".

5. We JUST received our first return from Packard Bell - a 386.

4. Packard Bell customers keep arguing with sales people: "When I played MYST on my Packard Bell SMOKE came out of the case as well as sound - why won't your Compaq do the same? Huh?".

3. Packard Bell tech support now answers with a squeaky voice "My daddy isn't here right now - hold on".

2. New repair kit from company now includes high pressure vice grips and high blood pressure monitor.

1. Best Buy now sells them with the new "15 minute warranty - or your money back!" program.