Top Ten Tippy the Turtle Complaints

10. After 3 periods of losses, Tippy resigns from TippyMart - Currently run by TippyMart founder Eric Benson, until new CEO is found.

9. Hampster next door gets cute little wheel to run around in; Tippy gets a stupid Geo.

8. Clause in new service contract states that if a turtle at B*ss Pro's aquarium gets sick, Tippy will be given as a loaner until new turtle arrives.

7. Unavailable due to lost paperwork.

6. Upset to find out that "Turtle Wax" is for cars.

5. Someone accidentally put a service tag on Tippy and he was left on a shelf for 18 months.

4. Finally gets a cage with no problems - can't afford payments...

3. Ordered carrots and turtle food from Comp*q and can't eat because it is back ordered 3 weeks.

2. Unavailable due to lost paperwork

1. Newspaper usually used for Tippy's cage is now used to line the floor of Men's bathroom!